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…mending is patient, steadfast, often unglamorous work — it is the work of choosing kindness over fear, again and again, in the smallest of everyday ways, those tiny triumphs of the human spirit which converge in the current of courage that is the only force by which this world has ever changed.
Maria Popova
Why Systemic Trauma Mending?
We are born to parents and received by kin, friends, collectives, communities and, eventually, the world at large. For better or worse, belonging and living was, and is, dependent on context. We were formed by known circumstances and, often unremembered, events and experiences. Elation of being met, despair of disconnect and everything in-between, is the stuff of relational life. What that was like early-on, influences and colours how we live forward.
Life’s ruptures –especially when neglectful, malicious, and violent by other humans– affect us individually, as couples, as parents, the dynamics in family systems, collective rules, communal strife, and (not least) international relations. Broken connection is the stuff our human trauma response is made of. Un-mended trauma burdens the day-to-day. It also continuously shapes futures by way of generational transmission of said fragmentation.
Yet, even in the worst of circumstances
Collin A. Ross, MD (2009) Trauma Model Therapy–
“we will, must, do” attach.
Systemic Traumatology assumes cracks –known and unknown– in our ancestral fabrics. Most change-seekers (a.k.a., clients), nonetheless, have adapted to belong into exactly the family of origin we have. In turn, personal pain, family conflicts, generational entanglements, and communal strive, feed collective trauma’s ever ‘new normals’.
A systemic lens allows us to gaze at that and to recognise ‘individual dysfunction’ as embedded within cultural and historical patterns that span spaces and times. We can, then, begin to understand that –so-called– ‘brokenness’ (human, environmental, global, universal) cannot be attributed to an individual’s failure at wellness, nor can trauma be tagged onto an individual event. We are stunned by systemic ruptures, pained by systemic alienation, and suffer from increasing systemic fragmentation. We thrive and flounder, within and through, our relation to ALL.
Imagine Us On a Road Together …
… wandering into, and throughout your emerging systemic map, accompanied by systemic trauma education. From the outset, we refrained from for-fronting pathology. We rather have uncovered, and celebrate, what is right –always has been right– so we may use your resourcefulness to mend what keeps you (and your issue) spinning. Occasionally, we slow down and look around; the most salient ingredient to know, and settle, nervous systems. Our shared, winding road –generally less taken– begins by gathering what is known of your biography, family lore, culture, and so forth, while taking time to observe, and process, what happens somatically. This creates a map of expanded meaning, as much as it offers the body a more spacious map to land in.
Along the way, we note whatever explicit and implicit memories respond to our invitation. Befriending the system in your Inner World requires honouring the terrain you were born into, the spaces around you, and your issues. Our careful presencing of systemic influences will un-silence cracks and reveal ruptures. Sometimes, this happens immediately. Always, though, it gradually makes room for emergence of what is ready to be seen and mended; inside-out and outside-in.
We seek change gradually, grounding every shift in insights and the body. Systemic constellating provides (where possible in-person, online as needed) the means of processing and playful exploring. Mending, then, re-homes what is frayed, or was missing, within you. I enable and empower people to become change makers in their families and all kinds of relational life in their communities, as they become intimately familiar with their BodySelf. We entrust which form that takes to the creative diversity a given person, and their system(s), will benefit from most.
It is a privilege to be part of the gradual emergence of wholeness in my change-seekers’ worlds. Wholeness to self, other, and the world at large, the complex web of many ecologies we each are part of, allowing for ever more fluid belonging. Their treasured experiences never ceases to awe me.
Within my Constellating Systems Werkstatt I offer individual sessions, constellating systems group events, and soon will add webinar access and some of my writing. I serve, in a word, anyone who wishes to address stubborn (systemic) issues. If that is you, contact me here.
I look forward to meeting you Karin Dremel, m.t.s.
Systemic Traumatologist – Constellating Systems Facilitator / Heilpraktikerin (HP, Germany) – Humanist Chaplain (HC, AHA) / Mental Health Professional (CO State License, NLP# 6709)