–syscon–

Systemic Consultation

! Context and History Matter !

Traumatic events affect individuals and by extension their relationships. The systemic nature of trauma is as powerfully influential as the symptoms and issues you struggle with. The system(s) you are part of and your symptoms, in tandem, fuel intractable conflicts with close ones, co-workers, neighbours, and so forth. Trauma, then, is passed on and generational entanglements ensue. If unresolved, this perpetuates a plethora of physical symptoms in the individual, family of origin troubles, and malaise in communities and societies.

Tipping your toe into layers of embodied (possibly unknown) trauma may seem like a daunting task. Yet, gradual change through measured ‘toe-by-toe’ tipping, combined with trauma sensitive, multi-modal, systems oriented processing methods, will mend fragmentation and broken connections. From there, innate body-mind-soul healing can take root.

Human infants and children are the most immature of creatures. They adapt to any –and all– early life circumstances. Why?

In context of goodness and attunement we thrive. In contexts of peril we adapt by surviving. If care by those close is offered predictably the world is safe. If care was chaotic, or absent, we had  ‘unmet needs’, these are, any experience (for the immature Little One) of too soon, too long, too much,  too sudden –and importantly– too little. According to alan Shore, little humans need attuned care (at least) for the “first 1000 days after conception.” * If this is missing, developmental trauma looms. The term, suggested first by Judith Herman, for (longterm) unmet needs (without repair) is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.** Indeed, without a predictable, stable, mature (caregiver/s) brain present to a baby’s stress, Little Ones experience overwhelm they cannot self-regulate, nor can they learn from co-regulating with a mature brain.

Adult absence, neglect, violations, and unrepaired mismatches lie at the heart of  guarded or disorganised BodySelfs. Little Ones will adapt to overwhelm by –knee jerk reflexive– survival responses from the brain stem. More often than not, they remain with us as ready  reactions to a sense of danger. Any of us (who are even reading this!) still have powerful autonomic-automatic experiences of fight, flight, fawn, and/or freeze to content with. Survival patterns (a.k.a., insecure, avoidant, & disorganised attachment styles) tell tales of body-bound memories of yore; memories of a world that felt (was) a lonely and dangerous place.

In sum, developmental trauma arises in contexts where peril is inflicted and/or not prevented. Where nurturing, protecting, and guidance is erratic or absent. Successful adaptive survival repertoires will later colour (or define) your relating to self, others, and the world at large. You may feel stuck, even cursed, if the same old patterns yield the same pain, over and again.

But wait, even one Systemic Traumatology Consultation can provide you with thorough mapping of potential, unaddressed trauma across your life span.

This first meeting (a 2 hour session) will be collaborative. It will be seasoned by a robust taste of what a touch of earned safe attachment can feel like. We will co-regulate as we gently identify some of your adaptive strategies. At large, they may be outdated and get you in trouble. Nonetheless, we will respect and honour them to act –as needed– on your behalf!  After all, they were your protective super powers in childhood. We will, as you since then have matured, invite your quick-to-rise Inner World Parts (Little Persons) to defer to you –their adult– to let you regulate, to apply good judgement, and to handle most situations of your everyday live with (trustable!) agency.

This, of course, is a process with a learning curve. It needs practice, willing sparring partners, and (most importantly!) kindly self-care. Even then, it will not be successful all the time. Our second session, in short, focuses on your childhood, the Little Persons that protected you, and the ways they echo throughout your biography.

Depending on what ww were able to cover in the first,  a second session (2 hours) has a focus on expanding your biographical map by including generational heritages, i.e., biographical, cultural, social, and historical experiences of your ancestors (known or deduced from historical context) to illuminate what generational transmission of  broken connection and hardship (likely) contributes to your issue(s.)

This image above, a  Nested Worlds Map explores territories you already, often unknowingly, belong to. It’s specifics become the template from which new questions about your issue(s) will arise. Online research is great in service of ‘seeing beneath known family lore’, as it will reflect what your specific nested worlds revealed. It also helps to speaking with aunts, uncles, and cousins (!), they are often more willing to ‘spill you family’s beans.’

New questions! … And Then What?

Contextual questions pave the way into participation at a Constellating Systems Event (find more in-depth information here.)

If groups are not your ‘thing’, a one-on-one Table Top Constellations with me and my playful co-workers can be  a means to explore and engage a specific issue or quest. This (mostly online) work yield right-brain informative, is often deeply touching, and has transformative power. This, below, is the last image of a constellation done with a man, I will call him Carlo, who was looking at his retirement.

Carlo dreamed of becoming a writer but felt defeated before he even started. We invited representations for resources and allies that might support him. Carlo named two writers whom he admired.  He also felt, and invited, a Little Person that just wanted to hide. Carlo, then chose representations for each. One, fierce and fiery, was represented by the Mouse King. His posture and long sword, Carlo felt, wanted to protect his vulnerable hiding Little Person in hiding. When I inquired about the Little Person’s experience, Carlo shared that in his childhood he had been mocked by his mother and father, mercilessly, when he showed any artistic leanings. Feeling that in his body, had Carlo tuck the Little One in a small pewter cup and arrange the Mouse King protectively  in front of it.

Carlo’s second resource was a well known female author, admired for her steadfast, kind, and heart-based writing about traumatised humans. He chose a comfortably seated elephant. He mused that she would ground the mouse king’s protective fervour with mama-elephant sensitivity and loyalty. Then, Carlo arranged all of them tucked inside a lovely Indian silk scarf, whereby the gentle containment became yet another resource. We sat gazing, in silence, for a while. Taking in the image. Suddenly, he needed to add the magenta sticker, reading alchemy. “For good measure”, he grinned.

With a bit of practice (and good knowledge of basic systemic tenets) Table Top Constellating can be self guided and paced. It can be an accessible method to explore open questions, process unresolved issues, and anchor systemic dynamics as visibly externalised potentials.